Today I am feeling emotionally confused. We waited our month of rest,with me optimistically thinking things would happen all by itself. We had decided we would have to wait several months to save up some more money to try again. As much as my heart really wants to try again, Josh & my mind tell me we have to take some time. It is so disappointing knowing that.
I called Dr. Moore's office today to see what our next step is....basically it will be the same protocol. Oral medications, injections, every other day blood work, frequent ultrasounds, and the IUI. And I immediately get stressed thinking about doing this again! Stress about getting my work schedule just right, constantly having to switch shifts with people. Stress about the money that is spent every time I go in for blood work. Stress and FEAR that I will hyperstimulate again. That was miserable the first time around, I can only imagine if it was worse. But yet, my heart says go for it, it will all be worth it if I get pregnant!
I know that everything will work out, and I don't need to stress and let things happen the way they are supposed to. But it is just me, I am constantly thinking, worrying, and trying to control things & I just need to leave it in God's hands.
I just never thought it would take us this long, this September will be 1 year. I started a new hobby of making jewelry, which has been a great distraction for me. I guess I am gonna have to try selling what I make, because every little penny gets us closer to our dream! :) So, we are still unsure if we are willing to take this leap of faith just ONE more time!
